Who am I? Most simply, I’m a mom. I look at all the hate and anger in public discourse right now and it scares me for the kids and not just my own. People on both sides are actually saying there might be a second civil war in this country, and they don’t seem to see this as a big deal – not really. I guess that being a mom with two boys who could be called to serve makes me see this a bit differently.  That could lead to the actual, literal death of my boys and their friends.

I can’t imagine anyone wants that to happen but the rhetoric keeps going back there. We need something to pull us back from that precipice. We need to start engaging one another as actual human beings, not like internet trolls. If the person behind you in the checkout line mentions their support of or opposition to a policy or politician, don’t respond the same way you would to a foul-mouthed online rant by “Anonymous” on the same subject.

I’ve lived in densely populated, very liberal urban areas, and I’ve lived in rural, conservative areas. When I lived in Los Angeles, it was no joke that expressing conservative viewpoints cost people their livelihood. It did, especially since a lot of people did contract-based trade work on TV and movie sets. Because I have been on the receiving end of it, I won’t shut down other people for having different views than mine. (I do walk away, literally and metaphorically, when they act like jerks.) Besides, just because I don’t agree doesn’t mean I don’t understand. I still have friends from all across the political spectrum and discuss politics with them regularly. As a matter of fact, I think it’s great that we don’t all agree, as long as we talk and find solutions. Talking to people with different experiences and opinions often leads to better solutions.

Finally, I’m tired of going over the same topics ad nauseum. Listening to politics is like listening to my kids natter on about which drive through is better. I get it: one likes Taco Bell and the other likes Wendy’s. But most of our food doesn’t come from the drive-through (no matter how some weeks feel) so this just isn’t a big deal. Likewise, there are a lot more issues to discuss that affect a lot more people day to day than abortion, gun control (yes, really), and LGBTQIA+ rights.

What issues?

• Mental Health Care: Mental health is like physical health: we all have problems sometimes, but it’s many times harder to get help for mental health problems and the stigma attached to it is just ridiculous.
• Over-regulation: Even when regulations make sense, they need simplified and streamlined to make compliance easier and less expensive. Conflicting regulations need to be removed.
• Crumbling infrastructure is rapidly reaching a critical point.
• Veterans issues including physical and mental health care.
• College Debt: Too many young people have massive debt and degrees they aren’t using.

For more than two decades, I’ve watched the vitriol in public discourse steadily increase. One person refused to discuss the clause in the Bill of Rights that forbids American troops from being housed by American civilians without compensation because we vote differently. I think that might be the single most neutral, non-debated item in the entire Constitution, at this point. It is frightening that we have reached a point where people on both sides are so certain they are the sole arbiters of truth that they cannot even talk to someone who isn’t part of their party.

I am heartened by my friends on both sides who genuinely want to talk and understand. I am thrilled to see how much more interested my sons and their friends are in politics than I was at their age. And I think it’s fantastic that so many people are seeking to understand the Constitution now because knowledge is power.

So, who am I? I’m a mom, not a politician, and I think we need civility, not civil war.